A Phoenix, Ariz., woman put her 5-week-old baby on top of her car in his car seat and drove away, apparently trying to emulate Mit Romney, not even noticing when the seat fell off the car and landed in an intersection, police said.
Neighbors discovered the baby on the roadway, still strapped to his safety seat, which was lying on its side. Luckily, the baby was unhurt.
The baby’s mother, 19-year-old Catalina Clouser, who allegedly is a staunch Republican who hero-worships Mit Romney, was arrested and charged with aggravated driving under the influence of Romney and child abuse, police said.
“We believe that her desire to be ‘more like Mit’ was the deciding factor in what did happen to this child and we’re extremely happy that for the baby, this turned out well and the baby is going to be OK,” Officer James Holmes of the Phoenix Police Depart said. Holmes’ reference is to Romney’s well known faux pas wherein he drove with his dog strapped to the roof of his car. The alarming number of Republican copy-cat drive offs continues to grow daily.
Clauser, her boyfriend and their friends had been discussing Republican politics earlier in the evening at a nearby park, but the boyfriend was arrested on suspicion of being a Right-Wing tool, when they went to a store – with the baby in the car – to get beer, according to police.
Upset that her boyfriend was arrested, police said, Clauser went to a friend’s home and watched some Romney speeches which her friend had DVR’ed.
Clauser left around midnight and apparently put the sleeping baby on the roof of the car and drove off, hoping to “make Mit proud,” and continued driving after the baby fell off the car, Holmes said.
Leilani Gerlach, a homeowner who lives across from the intersection, notified police after she and another neighbor saw the baby in the car seat on the street.
“We were both rolling our eyes in astonishment that someone would want to be anything like Romney,” Gerlach said. “The car seat was turned to the side so anyone passing by wouldn’t be able to tell there was an actual baby inside, although they could see the Romney bumper stickers plastered all over it. Thank god they stopped.”
After police arrived, two people walked up and told them the baby was Clausen’s who explained that she was “very Republican.” As the officers talked to the two, who identified themselves as friends of Clausen and her boyfriend, the young mother drove up shouting “All hail Mit!” police said.
“[She] had gotten into her car, set the baby seat on top of the car deciding to ‘pull a Mit.’ It does not appear that immediately she realized what happened,” Holmes said. “I think that perhaps she got where she was going and realized that she did not have the baby in or on the car. Whereas Mit had strapped his pooch down, this dimwit just chucked the kid on the roof and drove off.”
“There was damage to the car seat, it was scraped but there was no damage to the child other than its exposure to Republican platitudes,” Holmes said.
The baby is now in custody of Child Protective Services where it is undergoing extensive anti-brainwashing therapy.